Not the greatest day...

[strangeduck]

My best friend got married today.  In Denmark, and here I am in California.  It is heartbreaking for me to miss this.  This is her second wedding, and the first wedding was nothing like what she wanted and the marriage ended soon after because the man she thought she knew put his family's desires before her needs.  He blamed her for her depression and rather than contacting me or her parents he told her that the suicidal depression she was experiencing was not a big deal and that she should just get over it.

She met the man she married today while she was still married to her husband, and I'll be honest and say I don't really like him as a person, though in truth I don't know him all that well, but I will always love him for the happiness he's brought to my best friend, and for the effort he puts forth to care for her.

I made the choice to not even attempt to attend because I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia and the strain of a trip like that would likely cause me immense pain and exhaust me beyond my endurance.  I would willingly face that pain for her, but I didn't want her to be concerned about my health or feel guilty for the pain it would cause me.  I would never have forgiven myself if I caused her a moment of anxiety and unhappiness on this day that should be filled with nothing but joy.  She reluctantly agreed that it would be best for both of us if I didn't attend, but she's kept me updated on all the plans, and her brother's girlfriend who is there today has promised to take pictures and video and send me that tonight.

I am having one of the worst flares I've ever had.  I'm in immense pain and I'm so fatigued that it actually hurts, and I've been on the brink of tears all day because I feel like I've let her down and my health has stolen from me something so important.  Today is a hard day.

[Addicted2Rats]

{{{{{{{{{{{strangeduck}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a rough day today.     You would be there for your friend if it was possible and she knows that.  Please rest and take care of yourself today so that you can start feeling better soon. 

Hugs, Deb

[werecatrising]

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Your friend knows you love her and would be there if you could. My best friend since kindergarten moved to Alaska when we were in junior high. We were unable to attend each others wedding, but each knew the other was there in spirit.

[Rattiemama]

*Gentle Hugs* I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is to make those decisions about what you should or shouldn't do because of chronic conditions. For what it's worth I think you made the right choice. Here you are, flaring today even though you didn't travel half way around the world. Imagine how stove up you'd be if you had gone. I know that probably doesn't help much, but hopefully knowing you choice well makes it just a little better?

It's hard when the people we love make choices we don't necessarily agree with, but hopefully this second chance will work out for your BF. Of my three best girlfriends the one whose marriage I thought was the worst idea is the only one still married. Maybe it will work out for her, all you can do is be there for her as best you can. At least she understands completely why you couldn't be there.

I hope you can get through this flare and start feeling better soon. I hate flares. Hopefully uou cn do something nice and relaing for yourself today. *More gentle hugs*