Another pregnancy

[Dearpie]

Kat, we thought that you'd like a lasting rememberance instead of flowers.  For those interested, this is the evergreen sent:



Again, we're all very sorry for your loss. 

[ruthiechan]

For those of you who are also parents - please hug and kiss and tuck in your children for me tonight.  Make sure they know what they mean to you.

I will definitely be thinking of you next time I tuck Hazel in.
You are so awesome Kat.
So incredibly strong and powerful and wonderful.
I wish I could be there for you physically.
You are in my prayers.
 's to Logan.

[nancycccslp]

.......thank you to the moderators for picking such a lovely rememberance for Logan.  Every time I read a post from Kat I say "this time I'm not gonna cry" but I always do.  Keep the blankie; keep the crib; do whatever feels right to YOU and try not to feel pressured by anyone else's opinion.  THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.  No one does.  Every family invents itself, including one that has lost a child. 
I wish I had words of wisdom.  I only have words of support and sympathy.

[Eileen]

Well, I'm a little behind in my forum-ing, so I just read all these 7 pages in one shot, and am also sitting here crying.

How amazing it is that one little guy has touched so many people all over the world?

Kat - all I can say is what everybody else has already said. You, Dorian & Logan are in my prayers and thoughts. You guys are very special & inspirational people. Your strength through all of this is incredible. I'm having surgery soon & thought I was  being strong, but I am humbled by your maturity & your love for Logan.

We are & always will be there for you. Feel free to lean on us when you need us.

[*Kat*]

I worry Dorian everytime I log on since the tears just stream.  I really appreciate all the compassion and how much everyone cares.

The funeral home just called - Logan is ready to come home.  Dor is picking him up on the way home for lunch. 

Right now I'm sitting were with the kittens all over me cause the neighbors are doing riffle target practice or something - goes off every 30 seconds for a few minutes, then stops a few minutes and starts again.  AHHH!

We were already planning on keeping all the clothes and blankets we got for Logan for hand me downs to his sibs.  A few of them might go to his new aunt or uncle at the end of this year  

I got my "mommy's brag book done last night.  Has his rememberance card in it with his birth info and foot prints, his crib card, my hospital bracelets, and lots of pictures!  I also did up 3 framed pictures for Dorian for at work.  One of him holding Logan, one of me holding Logan, on of the hands picture, and also did a 4th of the pictures Dorian and I got done right after I got pregnant. 

He forgot them at home today, but I thought it would help him with work to moreso have us with him.

All in all things are going well.  And I say that with my odd sore throat voice, nose running, and after having a low fever last night   Logan's little uncles either gave me something, or my body has decided everything going on right now is not suppose to be happening yet!

[-Kelly-]

Hope you feel better soon Kat. ((HUGS))

[nancycccslp]

After an incredible blow like this, immune systems can go "offline" for a bit.  Take it as easy as you can for a while; let your body heal.  
I remember that after the birth of my first child (a traumatic birth ending in a crash C-section, his heart stopping, and a very scary stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), my husband just didn't get it when I kept talking about it and crying.  Men are not good with problems they cannot fix.  Women let it out.  We cry and we talk, and eventually we heal.  But the crying and talking is part of the healing process for us.  Talk here and at your other support site as you need to; we will listen and respond.  Dorian may shut down for a while; men often do that.  Everyone grieves in their own way.

[*Kat*]

All in all he's doing pretty well.  Figureing out which things that he can do help, and which just upset me more.  He's learned to start asking specific questions about how I feel till I'll tell him what is on my mind.  I do the same with him - so it's not just a big open "oh great, what this time" type thing. 

Having Logan home today really helped him - you wouldn't believe!

[Snap]

I'm glad that Logan is home now....take care of yourself and Dorian.  Thank you for sharing your pics , I especially liked the "family hands".  I'll be thinking about you  and sending healing thoughts your way.


Hugs to you and Dorian

Snap

[pigsandrats]

Giant (((hugs))) to you and your SO.   

[*Kat*]

I wanted to let you know as a whole how great you guys are.  I've joined a couple of anencephaly groups after I found out Logan's diagnosis.  They don't talk about anything but the condition!  Stats, pictures, etc.  All the posts right now since I updated about Logan's passing on those sites really freak me out!  It is as if they let the diagnosis define not only their child - but also the entire rest of their lives.  

Yes, Logan had anencephaly - but he was also his own person - I never realized before this pregnancy how much you can really get to know your child before they are even born.  Taking baths made the little boy go nuts, laying on my back made him fuss.  He liked hearing his father's voice, and liked the voice of the pastor at church (I even told the Pastor when he visited us at the hospital that maybe now I'll hear what he's saying since I won't be being kicked during them for awhile!)

I came to terms a lot faster than anyone, including myself, expected me to with Logan's life.  Dorian and I have talked a lot about everything Logan was able to do in about an 8 month time period.  We have a house now (renting, but still) Dor has an excellent job, I've gained and been wholely accepted into his family, my mom loves Dor - my mom is very stand offish most the time!  Both Dor and I's faith has grown.  Sure, they are all stuff we could have done on our own, but I don't think without our son that we would have been able to mature as quickly and get ourselves where we needed to be.  

All in all, I just want to thank all of you guys, for realizing Logan is a real person.  I know part of that is due to my way of talking about him, but some people on other groups jsut write that off and see him as his diagnosis... and these are people with similar situations.  It's just so odd.  I'm glad I'm not the only one who got to know Logan, I'm glad all of you got to know him and love him too.

[Snap]

I've said it before and I'll say it again...Kat, you are truly amazing.   I feel honored that you shared your special little boy with us.

thanks again   

Snap

[pigsandrats]

Kat, this isn't the same thing as you went through, but when I was pregnant with my last child (who is now 19 years old) I was bleeding at 12 weeks and they couldn't find his heartbeat.
It was devistating to me, and I had to wait a whole 24 hours to get an ultrasound at the hospital to see what was going on. (They didn't do ultrasound's in the Dr's. office back then.)
I was shocked at the callous responses I received- including my husband (now my ex-husband). 
I heard everything from - 'Oh well, you already have two kids' to 'At least it didn't happen later on in the pregnancy', etc.
None of that mattered a damn bit. The point was I already knew and loved THAT baby, and he was already a unique little person that I would love forever. Babies do indeed make their personality known very early.....

The following day I had the ultrasound and he was fine, but I NEVER forgot the uncaring responses, especially from my ex-husband.


And also, I agree with this wholeheartedly.

   I feel honored that you shared your special little boy with us.