Please Help

[Iconoclast]

Please email this to everybody you know, everybody you don't know, and everybody you think you might have met but were too drunk to remember. Twice. At least. Little Billy Evans needs your help. Here is his story:


I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.
The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was  the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish

I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You.
Billy 'Smiles' Evans,
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body.

[Tizzrah]

..  

[KimbearlySue]

..  

Ditto.   Icono, where do you get this stuff?

[Iconoclast]

Billy says you can send me the money. I'm trustworthy.

[swedishnightingale]

How sad... stories like that make me feel so awful. That poor little boy.

[ckhs]

Are you implying we are all suckers? If so you would be wrong. Had that email been from spot the dog or rufus the rat or any other little creature i would have been off to get a money order in the mail pronto.
As it is i have no problem deleting little Billy from my thoughts.
His mother should have taken into account the expense of children before breeding and set aside some money for medical expenses and emergency care.
No sympathy here.

[Iconoclast]

..  

Ditto.   Icono, where do you get this stuff?

I found it on Snopes.

And I know the first person I'm going to send it to. I have a friend who forwards tons of "true stories" about dying children, computer viruses, and terrible injustices. Well-meaning, but gullible. She needs to help little Billy Burlap.

[jessiree]

His mother should have taken into account the expense of children before breeding and set aside some money for medical expenses and emergency care.
No sympathy here.

I agree completely.  bodylessness is hereditary.  she should have thought about that before deciding to breed!  I hope she'll reconsider breeding after this bad experience.  And maybe she can adopt him out to someone who can afford to properly care for him...

[Iconoclast]

Are you implying we are all suckers? If so you would be wrong. Had that email been from spot the dog or rufus the rat or any other little creature i would have been off to get a money order in the mail pronto.
As it is i have no problem deleting little Billy from my thoughts.
His mother should have taken into account the expense of children before breeding and set aside some money for medical expenses and emergency care.
No sympathy here.

You heartless swine!  What goes around comes around. When you have a burlap sack full of leaves for a body, NOBODY will help you!

[ckhs]

Are you implying we are all suckers? If so you would be wrong. Had that email been from spot the dog or rufus the rat or any other little creature i would have been off to get a money order in the mail pronto.
As it is i have no problem deleting little Billy from my thoughts.
His mother should have taken into account the expense of children before breeding and set aside some money for medical expenses and emergency care.
No sympathy here.

You heartless swine!  What goes around comes around. When you have a burlap sack full of leaves for a body, NOBODY will help you!

As it should be.
Although there's always the wizard.

[jessiree]

hmm..wonder if she even knows where the dad came from...bet he was a petstore human!

[TheChicagoCrew]

L*M*A*O*!!!!!

-Melina

[Grace Jr]

 


You guys are incredible!  There's a child suffering here, wiht no body, and all you can do is make fun of him?!  I'm so ashamed!


 

[Steve]

Every fall we have a leaf drive here in Oak Harbor and send all the fallen leaves that we collect to Billy.  We're hoping this year to take up a collection to buy him a new burlap bag...or maybe the Cenex store can donate one.

[Korfa]

 When I first starting reading this I was like " Oh my gosh, he beleives this stuff?"
  And then I read on...  

[Scarlet]

When I first starting reading this I was like " Oh my gosh, he beleives this stuff?"
  And then I read on...  

Yeah, I thought that too.

[kim]

You know, I find it disgusting that the people on this board care so much about their stupid rats, and nothing at all about the plight of humans!!

It is perfectly within in her right to breed as much as she wants - because there are TONS of people on the streets who are just WAITING FOr a baby. I mean, she must have 10 homes lined up already for the next one. maybe some people find bodyless babies cute.


I mean, come on - we should all be as caring and loving towards our fellow human beings are I am.


-Kim, humanitarian and lover of all.
 

edited because the wrong smilie was up there

[sammimom]

 

[Arlyss]

Bwahahahahaha!  

Even my mouse Jeckle is laughing at you. Ico... (actually, uh, I was thinking of starting one of these on behalf of Jeckle, a poor mouse, accidentally bred in a lab, a pitiful human whose Einstein-sized brain inhabits the body of a small rodent...nah.   Even Snopes would find no one gullible enough to have passed that one on...  )

[Iconoclast]

Bwahahahahaha!  

Even my mouse Jeckle is laughing at you. Ico... (actually, uh, I was thinking of starting one of these on behalf of Jeckle, a poor mouse, accidentally bred in a lab, a pitiful human whose Einstein-sized brain inhabits the body of a small rodent...nah.   Even Snopes would find no one gullible enough to have passed that one on...  )

I'm sure they would. They had this to say about "Sad Sack":

A wonderfully sardonic spoof of the endless "help a dying child" pleas, this too is forwarded to us with "Is this true?" queries attached by people who either have leaf-filled burlap sacks for heads or who think that being skeptical means "I must ask about everything instead of ever relying upon my own brain." The puppy is a nice touch; if only the message had mentioned Jesus, it would have qualified for an extra 10 points on the glurge-o-meter.