i am really upset with my mom *rant*

[JennJenn]

Even if you're living in your mom's house that gives her no right to go through your stuff.  I don't agree with the idea that since you live there she doesn't have to respect you at all.  I'm 20 and live at home and also pay for all of my own expenses.  If my mom came into my room, went through my stuff, and threw some of my things away I would be very upset.  Respect isn't just one way.  She should respect you too.  I would understand if she thought something was going on like drugs, drinking, etc. but just going in and throwing stuff away for no reason I don't think is right at all.  I would just sit down and talk to her about it and make sure she understands not to throw anything away.

[Zooy]

I really don't recommend the yelling and screaming technique.

I also don't recommend punching a hole in the wall... or throwing out your parents stuff if they are gone. They get mad.

[Ratlovingkippy06]

I really don't recommend the yelling and screaming technique.

I also don't recommend punching a hole in the wall... or throwing out your parents stuff if they are gone. They get mad.

 yeah, i don't yell.. or scream i tend to start crying or tear up even when i try. So i normally rant it out by writing it down or jumping into the shower

[italianqt]

I only brought that up because another poster mentioned yelling at her mom and now things are different...just didn't think it was the best suggestion or example.

[Squishy!]

I also don't recommend punching a hole in the wall... or throwing out your parents stuff if they are gone. They get mad.

okok, I know that this post is supposed to be about how positively annoying people can be when it comes to respecting personal things... but when I read this, it made me think of a 'funny' story... lol

I thought what Zooy said was kinda funny (it actually made me chuckle a surprising amount when i read it) because sometimes my brother gets really mad for really little things (and i mean REALLY little things)... well, one day he came from work and he discovered one of his controllers for the PS3 had been chewed up by our dogs... he got so mad that he went up into his room and punched a hole into his wall!!  It went though the first layer of drywall  ... mom was really mad, but he's going to pay for the repair, so she's not quite as angry... hahaha, it was so funny... even my brother agrees that what he did was silly... 

I just had to mention that little story...    at least it can act as some comic (even if only to me) relief....

okay, continue with the unhappiness....

[Moondust]

I second the no screaming, heh.  It doesn't work and worse, your stuff could be out on the lawn if your mum's like mine. Legally there's not much you can do either.    Not that the OP was planning on it!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years now,  I do want to move out and find an apartment to live with Jeff. But i am waiting for the right time. right now there are a lot of questions that i am trying to answer like what do i want to do with my life? Do i want to have kids and be in school?

See this is why I personally belive all people should live apart from their boyfriend/girlfriend for a year after they become independant.  If you've been going out for 5 years then you've been together since you were fifteen. At fifteen you're practically a child!  In my experience, the people that have balanced relationships later in life were the ones that had a little time to themselves early in their independence. 

Living with someone changes things.  I now live with my BF, but I lived on my own for two years and still pay rent on an extra room in the apartment so that I have my own private space.  I  was with my highschool sweetheart for years and we might have even gotten married but after I spent the last year of our relationship living alone I came to the realization that we were more a comfort relationship than perfect for each other.  I could have never realized that if I hadn't had just a little time away to myself, to learn who I was and to be me.  You lose that, if you jump straight from one dependent relationship to another (because that's what it often is, people rarely treat live-in partners the same way they treat roomates).  It's genuinely important as a woman that you learn how to live on your own, because god-forbid if something should happen later in life you ought to have the experience to not fear it as so many do.   

I suppose I advise because I've been in a similar situation myself not too long ago and now realize looking back some of the things I or my friends have done wrong that seemed right at the time. 

[Ratsndogs]

You can't change who your mom is... and mom is a bit nosy, and probably has a different definition of tidy than you do.  And you've known it for 20 years.  She is who she is.  So the suggestions of a trunk, filing cabinet, etc, is a great one.  Go get them, set them up, put your school/personal stuff in them, then have a talk with mom about her need to throw things away that *she* thinks you don't need.  Then next time you go away, lock the trunk and filing cabinet so mom can't throw away anything you need to keep.